You Will Get Me Nowhere 12.1.12

Rain ticking against my window, Thinking

Sounds of a silent house, Imagining

No sign of life from friends, Wishing

Feeling worthless, Hurting

Thinking while Imagining for the reality that comes from Wishing that i wasn't Hurting.

The top is a poem I wrote. I used to be very into writing poetry and used to be quite good at it. I have lost my touch but still enjoy writing it from time to time. Besides writing poetry i love to read, run, write stories and paint to relieve stress or when i'm upset.

Someone that has been on my mind lately is Ms.FakeFace..
I'm sick of going back and forth thinking whether or not remaining friends with her.
I'm also disturbed that she only seems to be "worried" about me or whatever to other people besides myself. She texted my Best Friend a couple days ago asking if i was ok since i didn't respond to her text about everyone meeting up. I didn't see they text until i got home so i didn't feel a need to respond at 11:40 at night. She also told my Best Friend that she would talk to me.... NOPE hasn't happened for anyone curious...
What i don't get is why is she putting on a show that she "cares" about me, yet never asks me directly or shows affection toward the actual person shes "worried" about. I even heard that she is considering meeting up with me to talk. This puts me into a pickle. 
I'm actually quite afraid to meet up with her honestly... The last time we had a talk, she ended up making snide remarks and kept showing that stupid smirk of hers. I felt horrible after she left and got quite upset when she left. I actually went into my sister's room crawled into her bed and cried. This has never happened so my sister knew something was wrong and now she cant stand Ms.FakeFace. I would rather not go through that unpleasant experience again thank you...
But half of me wants to see our friendship become what it was... The sweet christian girl who i used to look up to even though i think is younger then me.
The old person who i didn't have to refer to as Ms.FakeFace. The person who used to be a great friend and always had a good christian answer to everything  The person who i used to think our friendship would last. My dear friend....

After all of this, IF the talk would actually ever happen, She needs to act like a mature adult and talk with respect from one adult to the other. Do i want this person as a friend who only wants to benefit by making herself look good to other people. Yeah maybe not. My best friend can be friends with her if she likes, she wont listen to me or realize how fake this person is.

 Ms.FakeFace, you are my never ending problem...

12.1.12