Last night i felt absolutely terrible. My health unfortunately isn't improving... I just need to hope for insurance soon so i can go see a doctor. What i have cannot be cured with out prescribed meds.
So last night my Best Friend came over to visit me!
Even though i was gross and could barley understand and comprehend a lot of what she was saying i loved just her presence with me.
It made my night that out of the blue she was like,"hey can i come over :D".
She lives sorta far away so it rocked that she came over at like 10:30 and stayed till like 1 am. We talked about my religious struggles and various other things. I was very happy with her being with me!
While scrolling on Tumblr a lot of quotes kept appearing on my dashboard. This got my mind flying on various thoughts. Some of what i have been thinking about lately. Here are some of the ones that caught my attention.
"I'm in that type of mood where i hate everyone except like one or two people, but i think those people probably hate me so just UGH fuck everything!"
Ok so when reading this quote i was in complete agreement with the premise of it. I can totally relate to it except i know i have 3 people who i believe don't hate me. My Best Friend, my sister and her bf which is more like the brother i never had.
I am very much in a mood where i hate people in general. Most are terrible creatures who only care for themselves and are very dark at heart. Sure they're are many who say they aren't but when was the last time you went out of your way to reach out to someone you know is struggling and say,"Hey i have been thinking about you and i'm always here if you need me". I For sure am always doing this. I did it yesterday to be more precise. I was the person who always reached out to the kid no one talked to and stood up for the bullied. My Best Friend can vouch for this when i hear something about someone that isn't true or i don't see fit i will confront the individual and tell them how ridiculous they are being to the point that i don't care if i'm going to lose them as a friend. (EX: Me Vs Ms.FakeFace for my best friends sake)
Try to not follow the standard of being awful and make someones day.
"Remember that i love you,
Remember that i care about you,
Remember that i'm here for you,
Remember that you're not alone,
Remember that You are loved,
And if you kill yourself,
You will kill apart of me."
This is the quote or a different version similar of this is what i try to remember when i tread along that dark path. I also tell the ones who are not to far behind the same message so they can either walk back with me or keep going toward the place no one returns. The most permanent change we can make in our life. The thing with suicide, it looks like a great answer to everything terrible in life, but
You aren't just hurting yourself your hurting everyone who loves you in your life. I had a friend of the age of 16 recently try to kill herself when her boyfriend of 3 months broke it off with her. I couldn't even fathom when she told me this. I couldn't even believe the extreme idiocy of her. It was the closest i have ever set a hand to someone. I mean are you kidding me? Your going to end your life based on a boy leaving you after 3 short months? This kids is why having sex or playing around the bases at a young age can be a terrible thing. YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT.
Wait until your at least 18.You can argue with me on this but this is my opinion. Whenever sex is involved for a girl, she will become 85% more emotionally involved then the boy. So wait as long as possible before hooking up young ladies. It wont be as easy as it seams. especially if you haven't had sex yet. I will admit i haven't had sex yet and i'm not ashamed of it to a degree. I just had the ability to say no. I'm not waiting for marriage because that's really stupid, but i haven't found the guy i want to have sex with yet.
"And when people try to minimize your pain, they are doing you a disservice. And when you try to minimize your own pain your doing yourself a disservice. Don't do that. The truth is that it hurts because it's real. It hurts because it mattered. And that's an important thing to acknowledge to yourself. But that doesn't mean that it won't end, it wont get better. Because IT WILL.
-John Green"
I love love love this quote.
It hurts because its real and it mattered.
That's a awesome mind set to have. Asdffgh! YES!
It will get better and it may take forever but it will!
I don't necessarily agree with not trying to take away your and other people's pain but i understand the concept of what this quote is trying to say. I might have read it wrong but my mind is in a haze and i can barley type right now and i may re look at it in the near future that is tomorrow.
11.10.12
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