Where to start?
I know that probably no one will ever read this blog since i'm not "popular" or "main stream" enough. But that's not my motivation to write.. i hope to leave my mark somewhere for when i'm gone and by giving me something to do everyday.
Let me start with a current problem by saying i have a group of friends that don't really conciser me a friend. Unfortunately we try to find friends for acceptance/love BUT these people make me feel worthless as a individual.
Ill start with the one friend who I'm struggling with the most.
This person who i became friends with 2 years ago is not the person i currently see before me. It hurts my heart to see that my friend has mutated into this terrible, selfish, egotistical person who is just wearing a fake face. Please return the face to its rightful owner. The worst part is this person thinks their changing is for the better... My friend could never be so wrong. To Know this person as one of the most mature of individuals i have ever met to revert to the immaturity of a 10 year old is completely horrifying. I noticed this sad fact when this individual and I had a talk to hopefully to resolve and fix things. To have this person laugh ignorantly at me while explaining my struggles. I'm glad my issues are a huge joke to this individual. Also this person making inappropriate remarks regarding "oh this is stupid (laughs)", by giving the impression i'm not worth this person's time and their stupid smirk really rub me the wrong way..
This person had no right to call me "self absorbed" and "always the self appointed victim". I probably have reasons i feel his way and i for sure didn't spawn the idea of my struggles for the fun of it.. I sit in my room thinking of how to handle this situation almost everyday to become stumped and confused every time. I have never experienced not knowing how to react or solve a problems involving friends. I usually am very wise and intellectual as my reputation being "the pearl of wisdom" has helped me and others in the past. At this point with anyone else i would have ended it, but with this individual i think i don't want it to end because the individual i befriended two years ago and loved means so much to me.. and i hold to the old memories and my eyes are fogged by this.
Am i willing to endure the sight of the fake version of my friend to only hope they will revert back to their old self? I laugh at myself for putting myself into these painful situations. i guess once a self abuser.. always a self abuser right?
I hope to solve this soon...
I hung out with this person and many of the friends in question tonight and i might have seen a glimmer of the old friend that i once knew and received a hug... like seriously where did that come from?!
I just hope my life will get better.
I know that probably no one will ever read this blog since i'm not "popular" or "main stream" enough. But that's not my motivation to write.. i hope to leave my mark somewhere for when i'm gone and by giving me something to do everyday.
Let me start with a current problem by saying i have a group of friends that don't really conciser me a friend. Unfortunately we try to find friends for acceptance/love BUT these people make me feel worthless as a individual.
Ill start with the one friend who I'm struggling with the most.
This person who i became friends with 2 years ago is not the person i currently see before me. It hurts my heart to see that my friend has mutated into this terrible, selfish, egotistical person who is just wearing a fake face. Please return the face to its rightful owner. The worst part is this person thinks their changing is for the better... My friend could never be so wrong. To Know this person as one of the most mature of individuals i have ever met to revert to the immaturity of a 10 year old is completely horrifying. I noticed this sad fact when this individual and I had a talk to hopefully to resolve and fix things. To have this person laugh ignorantly at me while explaining my struggles. I'm glad my issues are a huge joke to this individual. Also this person making inappropriate remarks regarding "oh this is stupid (laughs)", by giving the impression i'm not worth this person's time and their stupid smirk really rub me the wrong way..
This person had no right to call me "self absorbed" and "always the self appointed victim". I probably have reasons i feel his way and i for sure didn't spawn the idea of my struggles for the fun of it.. I sit in my room thinking of how to handle this situation almost everyday to become stumped and confused every time. I have never experienced not knowing how to react or solve a problems involving friends. I usually am very wise and intellectual as my reputation being "the pearl of wisdom" has helped me and others in the past. At this point with anyone else i would have ended it, but with this individual i think i don't want it to end because the individual i befriended two years ago and loved means so much to me.. and i hold to the old memories and my eyes are fogged by this.
Am i willing to endure the sight of the fake version of my friend to only hope they will revert back to their old self? I laugh at myself for putting myself into these painful situations. i guess once a self abuser.. always a self abuser right?
I hope to solve this soon...
I hung out with this person and many of the friends in question tonight and i might have seen a glimmer of the old friend that i once knew and received a hug... like seriously where did that come from?!
I just hope my life will get better.
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